Act the way you want to feel
In my explorations to boost my mood and my happiness, I have become aware of the importance of mindset. In your opinion, are the happiest people the ones who complain all the time or the ones who see life positively, no matter what happens to them? Personally, I choose to be in the second category, even if it is not easy and accessible every day.
What do you want to feel?
First step: what do you want to feel? Be specific and precise. They will be the basis of your new state of mind. List 5 to start.
You don’t have to list only “positive” feelings. It is even interesting to put some negative ones for the days when the positive will not be there. But choose some that allow you to move forward, such as sorrow, indignation or exasperation. These feelings should be temporary, meaning that you can feel them fully but they can disappear without leaving too many after-effects. Prefer them to hate or rage for example, which are feelings that are difficult to reverse.
When it comes to positive feelings, you have a lot to choose from! You can mix feelings that are relatively easy to achieve with feelings that are more rare.
For my part, I want to feel :
- Caring
- Full of energy
- In love
- Joyful
- Overwhelmed
These states of mind reflect the person I want to move towards. I have allowed myself a less positive state of mind, the feeling of being overwhelmed, because there will always be bad days. But I want as much as possible to make sure that these bad days are due to too much activity, more complicated assignments at the office or misunderstanding of others. The rest of the time, I want to allow myself to react neutrally or positively to what happens to me.
Do you know how you feel?
Since this morning, how do you feel? Have there been any noticeable changes in your mood? What has caused you joy or discomfort?
Take time to be aware of your state of mind. Try to pause for a few seconds during your day and write down how you feel at the moment.
This is really important because you won’t be able to train yourself to react differently if you are not aware of the state of mind you are in. I myself have periods when I become more critical, when I grumble about many little things that, taken separately, are insignificant, but which in the whole exasperate me. It often takes me a while to realize my attitude. But once I realize it, I try to reduce the negative noise and focus on what makes me tick.
Change negative into positive
The next step takes a little practice before it becomes a mechanism. But you have this amazing ability to shape your brain to react the way you want it to. Use it wisely!
The principle? Repeat regularly to your brain what you want it to assimilate. After a while, you’ll find yourself changing the way you see things without realizing it. This means that your brain has taken this into account and is proposing it directly to you.
This is easier said than done. But it is little by little that you will get there. For example, I advise you to start with the times when you grumble. Whether it’s against a colleague, a friend or a family member, ask yourself what the situation would be like if you refrained from complaining. Is the situation really worth putting yourself and the other person in an uncomfortable situation? I’ll tell you, the majority of the time, no. I’m not saying keep it to yourself and explode internally. I’m asking you to try to take a step back from the situation. If you really feel bad, take the time to articulate your state of mind in a constructive way. In any case, you will see that without aggressiveness you will be able to find a lighter state of mind more quickly.
Let’s start
Don’t wait any longer and act now according to how you want to feel. Arm yourself with courage. As G.K. Chesterton said, “It is easy to be heavy; hard to be light.” Complaining is often more immediate than being cheerful. So you need to work on that. You’ll see it’s worth it!
Don’t hesitate to surround yourself with like-minded people. They say you are a lot like the 5 people you spend the most time with. Surround yourself with positive people or bring your loved ones along for the ride. There is something in it for everyone.
